Fat Insults

I went swimming this afternoon. I have always loved swimming, and years ago swam for my school. It's a bit like riding a bike, once you know how you always do it well.

So, today as normal I went swimming this afternoon. Goggles on, head down, get to it. It was busy and so there was a bit of dodging about. I was swimming near one side of the pool, and there was 3 teenagers, about aged 17 or 18. They would do a length and then chill out and chat a bit f0r 5-10 mins before doing their next length. Being so busy in the pool, I went into 'their bit' when they weren't swimming to ease congestion only to be insulted on one turn.

I don't know if I was meant to hear, but as I got to the end to turn and take a few breathes I got "Look at that fat bitch, who does she think she is swimming in our bit of the pool'

I ignored, head down, kept swimming.

4 lengths later... ' look at the fat cow, trying to swim like she is some kind of professional'

I hate making excuses for dickheads, but like I said, I was always a swimmer when younger, I know I have a good technique and am proud of it.

Next comes 'F***ing hell, I can't beleive someone that fat can swim faster than me'

In all this, I pretended to hear none of it. Anyone who knows me knows I have a temper, and am not afraid to show it. How I kept my cool I do not know, but I did and for that I am proud.

It has however had a big knock on my confidence, I know it shouldn't but I have felt fat and disgusting all night. I keep playing it over in my mind thinking why didn't I say this, or why didn't I say that?

One thing I did want to say is'I may be big, but I can change that, you are always stuck with your crappy personalilty'. I will try to feel better when I go to sleep tonight, but I am in massive need of a confidence boost.

10% Yay!!

I went to weigh in tonight and had lost 3lb, which gave me my 10%. My leader is great and made a joke about how I hadn't had a beer fuelled weekend like last week, which was the weigh in after Bank Holiday. She was asking about how I did this week infront of everyone, and I said that Magnus had bought me My Fitness Coach for the Wii. I was saying it worked me really hard, as as it's such a light hearted group told them the tale of last Saturday Morning. (Mum and Dad if you are reading, please skip to the next paragraph!) Anyway, I was doing the workout while Magnus was still upstairs in bed. i was working bloody hard making noises to that effect and came down saying it sounded like I was having sex! One woman in my meeting immediately said she was going out to buy it!!

Mum and Dad, you can read now :o)

Today, I tried on a top that I got last year for my holiday to Spain. I wore it once and washed it when I got home and it shrunk in the wash so it was skin tight on me after. Today, I am wearing the top again - how cool is that! I also had a nice boost tonight, we always go out on a wednesday for a few drinks, and I bumped into a girl from my WW class. I didn't see her tonight as she only weighed in and didn't stay for the meeting, but she said I looked really different from last week. That must be the Fitness Coach training.

I only have 2.5lb to go for my mini goal of 2 stone before I go to Spain to see Mum and Dad, and I have two and a half weeks. With plenty of exercse I think I should do that. This saturday will be a bad day as it's the last home game of the season at football, but I have proved in recent weeks that I can have bad days and still lose.

I am feeling on top of the world tonight, I love Weight Watchers :o)

Photo Phobia

In the very first post on this blog I made reference to the fact that for years I have avoided having my photo taken. When I did, on holidays and days out I would go through the camera and delete any pictures of me looking bad. When starting this blog, I struggled to find pictures of me, but got a few from holidays last year, but to be honest before I started weight watchers I had put on even more weight since then.

For years I have looked in the mirror and seen a fat person, but I never thought I was as big as I was, I always looked bigger in photos, hence why I deleted them, and hid from the truth. I do not have a full length mirror and only ever see myself from the waist up.

This weekend I decided that I should have some pictures taken of me, as when I look in the mirror I am starting to see a thinner person, but when I saw the pictures I felt disheartened, fat and ugly. I still look as big as ever. My first comment to Magnus was that I now understand why I have not had any comments from people about my weight loss despite losing 22.5lb.
I will post the pictures, and then take some more in about 6 weeks. Hopefully then I will see a difference and stop feeling so insecure about myself. As Mum and Dad live in Spain and haven't seen me since I before I started dieting maybe they will see a change, and for them and to even up the balance of fat and ugly I have posted a recent picture of my lovely Emily.

So, this is me, 1oth May 2009 at 16 stone 4.5lb.

New Wii Game

I mentioned in my blog yesterday that Magnus had bought me My Fitness Coach for the Wii and I just tried it. It's brilliant!

I love my Wii Fit, but at times I do not really feel like I have had a workout. That's probably mainly due to the fact that I spend most of the time heading footballs and catching fish while my character is dressed as a penguin on the balance games. I'm always trying to beat my hugh scores! As fun as they are, they don't really do that much for my lard arse and bouncy castle belly.

Anyway, this new game is like going to a proper workout class, but in the comfort of your own home and with no show off skinny women looking down their noses at you. It's really easy to follow and after an initial fitness test and vital statistcs it works out a program based on your own level. I just did a 30 minute workout and I was sweaty and out of breath, but I never once thought that it was too tough or complicated to follow.

I can't wait to use it tomorrow. Together with the swimming I'm going to be getting plenty of toning up :o)

WI Week 8

Well, after that terrible weekend I somehow still managed to lose 1.5lb, bringing me to a total of 22.5lb. It must be all the swimming that I do, and I never count those points earned. I am now swimming on average 5 times a week, and still really enjoy it and get a buzz from it too.

I am a little bit worried that my bad weekend will carry over to next weeks weigh in, so I am going to make sure that I have a really good week and be a lot more sensible. I also don't want to get in the mindset that I can have a bad weekend and get away with it all the time.

The thing that really made my day is Magnus got me a present today - My Fitness Coach for the Wii, so I have that to do as a change to Wii Fit. I think I will start alternating them. He keeps telling me how proud he is of me for sticking with it and that I am doing really well. I love him so much :o)

Oops - Bank Holiday

Yeah, well it all went a tiny bit wrong from Saturday onwards. I still did swimming on Saturday and Sunday but didn't count points at all. As Emily was at her Dads we ended up going out every night.

Oh dear - back on track today and being a very good girl again but I'm not sure if I can reverse the damage in time for weigh in tomorrow. Good job I had such a good loss last week!!

Naughty Jo!

Swimming and Lovely Food

I went for a swim this afternoon, and did 45 mins, but came away feeling that I had not done a workout, even though I was swimming hard. I couldn't stay any longer as it was kicking out time to make way for lessons.

When I started all this nearly 2 months ago, I was cream crackered after 20-30 mins swimming. I then upped it to alternating between a 30 min swims and 45 mins. At that point 45 mins killed me and I could hardly life my arms! It shows I am getting fitter anf it's doing me good. The prob;lem I have is, while I love swimming, after a while it does get a tad dull going up and down, up and down, up and down....

The prospect of me having to now do some 1 hour swims has inspired me to get a waterproof MP3 player. I am confident with that I can drift into a music daydream while swimming. They are a bit pricey though, so I might have to drop a few hints for my birthday next month :o)

Just had a lovely dinner, it was yummy and fell like such a treat. I had a fresh tuna steak (3.5 points) cooking to perfection, a little pink in the middle with a small portion of new potatoes (1 point) and a big pile of zero point asparagus. I had a teaspoon of garlic, lemon and black pepper butter I made and also allowed a point for the olive oil I rubbed into the tuna before cooking. 6.5 points for a gorgeous and filling dinner.

I have enough points left for a few glasses of wine, and as Emily is at her Dad's this weekend me and Magnus are off out in Chorlton for the night.