Mum and Dads 40th Wedding Anniversary & Renewal of Wedding Vows

I had a lovely day on Sunday. It was Mum and Dads 40th Wedding Anniversary and they renewed their wedding vows. It was great having the family all together for the occasions and we got some lovely pictures. I love this one of me, Mum and Emily.



This is my cousin Alison. I always felt really fat stood next to her. She always looks lovely and has never been overweight. Now I felt proud stood next to her, and I think it's a great pic of both of us.



And look! That's me at the side of the picture. OMG, It's a sideways picture of me that I feel ok about. I used to HATE sideways pictures as I looked the size of a house, but I'm ok with this!!



WW wise though, it wasn't the greatest day so not sure what I am expecting at WI tomorrow. I haven't been to the gym this week either. We can't be angels all the time, we need to enjoy life too :o)

Less than two stone to go

Ok, it's still 1 stone 13lb but I don't care. That's less than 2 STONE TO GO!!

I lost 3lb at WI tonight which I was really pleased with. I have been good and worked hard at the gym this week. I'm now exactly 13 stone.

Only 1lb to go to get to 5 stone total loss and into the 12's. Bring on next Wednesday!!

(going to be a good girl again this week!)

Few random mutterings

I'm feeling really good at the moment. My head is really back in it, and I'm feeling great about myself. The other week I had the best compliment ever. Some of our mates came round for a poker night, and one of the lads bought his girlfriend who I'd never met. At one point in the evening I moved the big bowl of crisps away from me and said it wasn't good for WW. She looked at me with a slightly shocked face and said "You don't need to go to weight watchers!". I could have hugged her! I showed her a pic of me and said, that's why I need to go to WW. I don't want to be that again. She said she didn't recognise me in the old pic. It felt fab.

I also saw a mate last weekend for the first time since May. I was upset in May that she didn't notice that I had lost weight (I think just under 2 stone at that point). Her jaw dropped when she saw me last week. She kept touching me saying, "Oh my god, where have you gone!!"

Today has been a good day. We went to the Trafford Centre as I need a new top for next weekend when Mum and Dad are coming to celebrate their 40th Wedding Anniversary. Sizes are mad though, I went in one shop and saw a nice top. I tried it on and got a 16 and an 18 to be on the safe side(still think of myself as bigger than I am). Both were too big and I had to send Magnus for a 14 which fitted perfectly! I then skipped along to Next feeling good about myself, saw a top, tried it on and needed an 18!! Sizes are stupid.

I ended up muying the 18 top from Next as it was lovely, and no one sees the label do they? I wearing it with slim fitted jeans and sparkley silver heels. Here is the top and shoes, let me know what you think...

http://www.next.co.uk/shopping/women/goingoutoccasion/5/4
http://www.next.co.uk/shopping/women/shoes/40/9

I LOVE shopping for clothes now. I used to hate it, and often would be on the verge of tears. Now I feel fab, and when I tried on the whole outfit to show Magnus he said "WOW, you look gorgeous and sexy!!" I felt it too, and I haven't felt like that since I was about 20.

I'm Overweight - Yippee!!!

According to my BMI, which is now 29.9, I am no longer Obese. I am now only overweight. How exciting, and another little step closer to getting to goal.

I have been really rubbish at updating this recently. I've had a bad few weeks, first with Emily getting swine flu, and then the abcess on my leg. I never really got into the swing of things again. Two weeks ago I stayed the same, which was a relief, but it didn't give me a kick up the bum that I needed. Then last week I put on 1.5lb. I know this will sound odd but I REALLY needed this. It gave me my motivation back. I think if I'd stayed the same again I'd have had another bad week.

So, I weighed in earlier and lost 3.5lb. Really chuffed with myself for getting myself back on track. I'm now 13 stone 3lb, and 66lb total loss. Hopefully I'll be into the 12's by the end of the month. Fingers crossed!!

Feeling miserable and sorry for myself

I'll apologise in advance for the yuckiness of this post.

I'm in agony, so much pain. I have an abcess on my thigh which started last week as a small lump which has gradually grown in size (and pain since). My yesterday afternoon it was too much to bear and I went down to A & E.

It was so undignified, I dropped my jeans and lay as he prodded and squeezed as I wimpered and bit my lip. I was hoping he would be able to do something there and then, like cut into and drain all the goo out but he said it wasn't ripe enough. He prescribed antibiotics and codeine and told me I have to go back tomorrow to have it drained which fills me with dread as they will basically pop it by squeezing it.

They put a padded dressing on it for protection and I have been drugged up to the eyeballs on the codeine which makes me feel drowsy and drunk. I am now sat in so much pain as one dose has worn off but it's not time for my next one. At least when I do take some it will knock me out and I cannot feel pain when I am sleeping.

Post New York Report!

Wow, I haven't updated this for ages. Here's what I have been up to:

Well, on 27th August me and Magnus went to NYC and it was AWESOME! It's the one place I have always wanted to go, so it really was a trip of a lifetime for me. We visited loads of places and I loved every second. We went to the Empire State Building, Statue of Liberty, Ellis Island, Guggenheim Museum, Museum of Modern Art, Madam Tussauds, NYPD Museum, Times Sq, Central Park plus loads more I have probably forgotten! We also stopped by Ground Zero, and went to the memorial musuem which is run by the 9/11 families association which was really touching and emotional. The one thing I didn't like was the people selling souvenirs next to Ground Zero. I found that so disrespectful and slightly disturbing.

WW wise, I threw the book out of the window as far as I could and ate and drank what I wanted. I knew I would put on weight, but wasn't really bothered. I knew I could get rid of it again. And I did put on weight, a whopping great 5lb!!

I had planned to hit the gym with a vengence on my return unfortunatly that wasn't to be as my poor little princess came down with swine flu. She is over it now but I was basically sat in the house for 5 days with her. She was a brave little thing though and is thankfully back on her feet and well again.

So, when I went to weigh in last night I wasn't hoping for much. I had pretty much reverted back to healthy eating but hadn't really bothered pointing or tracking and so was utterly amazed that I lost 7.5lb - how the hell did that happen??!! I got my next silver seven and am now at 63lb / 4.5 stone loss.

To make things even better, I stopped off at Sainsburys on my way home from work today and had a quick look at clothes in the sale. I tried on a pair of size 14 jeans to see how far off I am now and they fastened! (Ok, I couldn't move or breathe but I got them fastened!!)

Here are my NY pics if you fancy having a look:

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=120058&id=707867062&l=98adb30561

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=120069&id=707867062&l=779444d737

Can you tell the difference part II

Ok, I still have a problem with having my photo taken. There. I said it.

Now, before I get depressing let me tell you about my wonderful goregous boyfriend. As previously mentioned I had wanted to get to 4 stone loss by the time we went to New York, and as an extra incentive he said he'd pay for me to get my hair done if I did it. Well today was treat day. Courtesy of Magnus I went to Toni & Guy and had my hair highlighted and cut, and the result was lovely. I loved the whole experience, I had a head massage while my hair was washed and the chair gave me a back massage at the same time. Do I had the best man in the world ever!

So, I come out feeling like a million dollars. I feel good, I look good and want some pictures. Only to discover I STILL have my photo phobia. I will post the pictures anyway even though I think I look awful. Why can I not see the good I have done? Why do I not see that I am much smaller, healthier and better. Why do I just see the rolls of fat that are still there on my back and stomach?

I will start with the before pic. I look at this and cringe. Please click on the pic the discover the true horror of my size!



Now, these are pics taken tonight. Note the new hair! I actually looked in the mirror and said outloud to myself that I was "looking goooood". Then I saw the pics. Oh god my belly is awful, and my back is huge. I do not look 4 and a 1/2 stone lightee. I still look huge and feel bad. But I know I am being stupid. My brain is in total conflict with what I am seeing. Why am I seeing the bad and not the good? Why can I not feel good about myself? I want to feel fabulous and beautiful. I am so rubbish.