Ok, so I decided that enough was enough. I am fat, really fat and I can no longer convince myself that it's ok, I don't mind being the way that I am because I hate it.
It all came to a head a few weeks ago when I was meant to be going to a wedding, one of Magnus' colleagues. I went shopping for something to wear, and as usual it was not a case of finding something nice, it was finding something that would fit me. I hate clothes shopping for this very reason. I couldn't find anything, and a few days before the wedding broke down in tears and told Magnus that I didn't want to go. I didn't want to be near all the dressed up, slim pretty woman as I knew I would feel fat and ugly.
It was that point that I decided to join weight watchers. I joined last week and could have cried again when I weighed in at 17st 13lb. But that was the last day I would ever weigh that much. I have to get healthy, and I want to be happy.
I decided that it would be good to blog my weight loss to keep me spurred on. I have just been looking for some pictures but could hardly find any! I know exactly why - I hate having my picture taken, because I am so fat. The ones that do get taken are then vetted. Most are just the shoulders up, avoiding my huge body. I always go through the digital camera and delete any of me looking really bad.
I did find some though, from holiday last year. I think I am actually a bit bigger now than I was then, but it's a good start. Hopefully I will look back at these in months to come and feel good about how well I am doing. Time will tell....
Hi Jo - brilliant idea! The blog I mean, but the joining Weight Watchers bit is brilliant too! By doing this you'll be telling the whole world so back-tracking will be difficult. When I quit smoking I told everybody I could right from day 1 - it really helped.
ReplyDeleteGot to do a bit of weight watching myself. Just got home from Tenerife and am dreading getting on the scales in the morning!
Best of luck and loads of love, Dad x x